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Temper tantrums are never fun. Children are wonderful things but boy can they challenge us at times. Staying calm as a parent when others around you are melting down into little puddles of anger, frustration and hurt requires skill, patience and practice. Even more so if you have more than one temper tantrum going off at the same time.
We always aim to avoid them where we can but even with the most amazing parenting, temper tantrums will happen. Aside from children not getting what-ever it is they want, temper tantrums can be triggered by other things such as hunger, sickness and tiredness.
What is a temper tantrum and why are they so hard?
Nearly every parent, teacher and therapist who has had anything to do with children will know about temper tantrums. However just to be clear, a tempter tantrum is an emotional outburst which involves a range of different behaviours depending on the child. It can include: crying, screaming, kicking, throwing, spitting, unpleasant words and my personal favourite, breath holding. You may even be able to add a few more behaviours to the list!
The goal when dealing with a temper tantrum is to be firm and consistent. Despite what your child may be doing, we also need to stay clam. Giving too much attention through shouting or being angry back at the child often backfires on us or at least makes the next temper tantrum that bit harder to handle.
What can you do once the temper tantrum starts?
Start by breathing – deeply and slowly. Getting angry or giving the adult version of a temper tantrum is not going to help. The more petrol you pour onto the fire, the more behaviour you’re going to get (which may include an escalation of behaviours or longer temper tantrum). Your job here as the parent is to get your child to slow down and calm down. Essentially we want the child to calm and make wiser choices.
What you do next will depend on the age of the child, what triggered the temper tantrum and how well the child can calm themselves. Some children may need to be held and rocked as they clam down (think little ones), others may need to be ignored and redirected to a more appropriate action. For those temper tantrums that are triggered by physical needs e.g. hunger, tiredness and sickness, your next steps may be more about addressing those needs.
Here are some extra strategies you may find helpful:
Take a deep breath from your stomach. Anyone who has done singing, yoga or pilates will have been taught the benefits of diaphragmatic breathing. Breathe in while counting to five, then hold the breath. Breathe out slowly, letting the air escape naturally from your lungs. You may need to do this a few times to stay in that calmer place.
Some of us are able to engage our imagination and take ourselves to a more relaxed space. For example visualise yourself at the beach on a warm, sunny day, or any place that you associate with peace or calm.
Walk away – if it’s safe. Time out isn’t just for children. If it’s safe to leave your child for a moment, step out of the room until you’re ready to re-engage. Put some music on (not too loud) and wait until both you and the child are calm.
Need more help?
As mentioned above temper tantrums are very normal. There is help available through our Psychology team if your child starts to have them regularly or it’s getting harder to manage temper tantrums. Please feel free to contact Reception for more information about our Psychology Services on 9274 7062.
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We’ve been covering a lot of techniques to help children learn new skills or sequences of skills in the last few ABACAS Tuesday blogs.
In addition to finding about task analysis, we’ve also learned that there are various starting places to teach skills from. Steps don’t always need to be taught from the first step to last. There are different starting places. However the goal is always to use prompting and reinforcement (praise) along the way to teach new steps.
To finish off the series we’re going to cover off two last techniques – Forward Chaining and Total Task Chaining.
For many parents, this is often the technique of choice – in other words starting at the beginning – and in many cases it makes sense.
In forward chaining, steps are taught in ‘forward order’. The learner starts with the first step of the routine, with the second step in the routine prompted. Forward Chaining is often used when the student already does the first step but cannot sustain whole task with multiple steps.
An example of a Forward Chaining could be a child helping with the laundry. The first step is taking the full basket of clothes to the laundry room. The child is already doing so, then you can prompt the child to put clothes in the machine. You might do this by showing the child or using verbal instructions.
Total Task Chaining
The fourth and the last method of Chaining is the Total Task Chaining (Total/Whole Task Presentation). This method teaches all steps in one learning trial.
The steps that need support are prompted or modelled. You would use Total Task Chaining when when the child obtains multiple steps in the sequence and can independently perform some steps but might still need support with some other steps.
Pulling it all together
Unsure of what method are to use to teach your child a new skill? Start a Task Analysis and do a quick assessment on what skills can the child perform, what skills need support, and what level of support does each skill requires. This will show you where to start.
Once you have an idea of steps and what skills the child can currently do by themselves, then it will become clearer which of the chaining techniques you can use.
You are always very welcome to contact Jenny Lin, Program Manager for help and advice. The best way to reach Jenny is through reception on 9274 7062.
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As adults we know what it feels like when we have a poor night’s sleep. We can wake up the next morning feeling like we don’t have energy, grumpy and can even experience “brain fog”. Children also are effected by poor sleep, particularly when poor sleep happens night after night.
Sleep Difficulties in Children
Poor sleep patterns in children can lead to increased irritability, behavioural problems, memory and learning difficulties. While there are different kinds of sleep difficulties, the two most common are sleep onset and sleep disturbance.
Sleep onset difficulties are where your child simply struggles to fall asleep. This can look like frequent calling out or “escape” attempts from the bedroom. Your child will be complaining that they just can’t fall asleep. In the more extreme cases, you and your child may end up arguing and in tears over their inability to settle. And all of this occurs at a time when both you and your child are naturally tired.
Sleep disturbances are where your child falls asleep but wakes up and finds it hard to resettle. For some children this can happen once a night, for other multiple times. In either instance, this causes difficulties for other family members (not just the child) as they go looking for you or siblings in the middle of the night.
Setting up Sleep Routines
A good place to start is to look at how they prepare for sleep. A sleep routine is all the routine actions we take on the way to putting our head on our pillow. We all have a sleep routine but some actions are more helpful than others.
A helpful sleep routine might look like:
- some quiet time (e.g. reading & drawing);
- laying out clothes for the next day;
- getting into PJs;
- brushing teeth and visiting the toilet;
- having 10-15 minutes with a parent reading a story together; and
- lights out.
Some habits are not going to promote good sleep. Try to avoid the following:
- Don’t let your child have sugary and caffeinated drinks before bedtime. Too much sugar and caffeine makes it hard for their bodies to wind down;
- Don’t let them take an electronic device to bed. The light that these devices emit gives the brain the message that’s its day-time, making it harder to fall asleep. Plus, the visual stimulation that comes with video games keeps the brain alert…the opposite of what it needs at bedtime;
- Don’t give in to repeated calls for drinks, cuddles and more stories. A gentle (but brief) reminder that you are near-by and that it’s bed time is all that’s needed. Giving lots of attention at bedtime, only helps to keep your child awake;
- No vigorous exercise for your child before bedtime. Exercise energises us…again the opposite of what we need to feel at bedtime; and
- Don’t spend too much time trying to settle the child (e.g. rocking or cuddling the child) when they can’t sleep. Aside from giving lots of attention, it may be stopping the child from learning self-soothing skills themselves and may actually keep them awake longer.
Some actions which are more likely to promote good sleeping in children, include:
- Making sure that there is sufficient quite time in the routine…at least 20-30 minutes and putting this in at the start of the routine. Very few of us wind down in 5 minutes!
- Trying to incorporate a bath into the routine (for those children who like baths). A warm bath is an excellent way to relax the body. Be careful with showers though – they tend to refresh us and wake us up.
- Leaving nightlights on. Younger children in particular find this comforting and fortunately we are spoiled for choice in terms of brightness, colours and shapes.
- Reassure anxious children that you will come back during the night and check on them and that you are in the next room etc. This can help soothe any worries.
- Being consistent. Sleep routines take a while to establish.
Need more help with your child’s sleep?
The psychology team in the Centre can help with further assessment and strategies. Please call our Reception on 9274 7062 for more information.
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During the school holidays the ABACAS team runs small social skills group programs for children with disabilities. Enrolments are now open for the following groups:
Young Entrepreneurs’ Club
Jenny Lin (Program Manager) and one of the Behaviour Therapists from the ABACAS Team will be running a school holiday program for children aged 10-14 years who are interested in developing their business prowess. Focusing on teamwork, social skills and community skills, the group will work with their team leader to design, price, advertise and sell their product. The money they make will be used for a pizza party at the end of the holidays (date to be announced).
Who should attend:
This program is best suited to children who have medium to low needs on the autism spectrum.
Mondays, Wednesdays & Thursdays, 9.30am to 11.00am
Music and Movement Club
Rachel Puan (Assistant Program Manager) will be running the Music and Movement Group these holidays. This group will focus on gross motor, social skills and musical activities to keep kids active during school holidays. While it is will include lots of fun and games, children will also practice listening, teamwork, problem solving and hand, eye/foot coordination and balance. And importantly, they will also have a chance to have fun and make new friends.
Who should attend:
Children will be matched according to age and needs. If we have enough children we will run two groups – a high needs and low needs group.
Mondays and Wednesdays, 9.30am to 11.00am
Jasmin Fyfe (Assistant Program Manager) with another of our Behaviour Therapists will be running a Drama club for children. Children will develop a play/performance piece together, designing and creating costumes and stage. The program will include lots of opportunities to practice social skills. Commitment is important because the group will be performing at the end of the school holidays for their families.
Who should attend:
These will be small groups of 3-4 children who will be matched on ability levels.
To be determined based on expressions of interest from families.
How much will sessions cost?
For groups of 3 or more children, individual fees will be $58.53 per hour.
How do I register?
Please contact reception on 9274 7062 to a express you interest.
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The Child Wellbeing Centre will be running another Secret Agent Society program for children in Term Three, 2018.
What Is Secret Agent Society?
Secret Agent Society is a small group program designed by an Australian clinical psychologist, Dr Renae Beaumont, to help children ages 9 to 12 to improve their social and emotional skills.
By the end of the 9-week small group program, the junior detectives graduate as secret agents. They would have learned the following skills:
- Recognise emotions in themselves and others
- Express feelings in appropriate ways
- Talk and play with others
- Solve friendship problems and
- Cope with change and deal with bullying
The program uses role play, home missions and a computer game to strengthen the skills learned in the group setting. Parents and schools are an integral part of the program and receive resources and support to help young agents practise their new skills.
For more information about the program please have a look at this website:
When will Secret Agent Society Run?
Club sessions are from July 28 until September 22, every Saturday 9-11am. Parent training session will be held July 21st.
How to register for the program?
To register interest, please contact our reception on 9274 7062.
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In last week’s post, we talked about a method of teaching behaviours known as chaining. Chaining is where we work out the sequence of actions that need to be taught to perform a behaviour (e.g. brushing teeth, making cookies & tying shoelaces).
In our last post we focused on Backward Chaining. In this post we’re going to focus on Backward Chaining with Leaps Ahead (BCLA) technique.
How does Backward Chaining with Leaps help children learn?
While it may conjure up images of frogs leaping, it’s actually an extension of the technique we looked at last week.
Like the name indicates, BCLA starts teaching the last step, but with the steps the child already knows or has mastered in previous learning. Given that the child already knows what to do for some of the behaviour, there is no need to reteach. Rather what we want to do is connect the dots for them in the context of the new behaviour.
Let’s look at the making cookies example. We’ve already worked out the steps needed to make cookies and broken them down into a teachable order:
- Mix dry ingredients with wet ingredients
- Stir to mix
- Shape into small balls
- Push down on the dough
Children with exposure to play-doh may already know how to shape dough into small balls. If they do then we may not need to do any direct teaching of this step as it’s the same behaviour (just with cookie dough).
In this example using BCLA, we would just prompt (e.g. physically show the child) this step as the child is able to do it independently. As soon as we can we will want to stop the prompting too as we focus on the step in the sequence where the child needs teaching.
Working out the best technique to teach and where to start can be tricky. The ABACAS team is able to help with advice about behaviour – both how to teach behaviours and how to manage the tricky ones. Please call 9274 7062 for further information.
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One of the saddest things to hear as a parent is that your child has no one to play with at school. For some children making friends is such an easy thing to do while for others, it is fraught with difficulty. At the Child Wellbeing Centre, we often see children with social difficulties – both at the primary and secondary school level.
Some simple tips to offer children struggling to make friends include:
Say hello – It’s such a simple thing to do but so many children forget to start by being friendly themselves. A big smile, eye contact and a cheery hello are a great way to make connections with peers.
Ask a question –“Can I play too?” or “How are you?” or “What is that?” are all good ways to show someone that you are interested in being their friend. But the questions have to be positive and relevant to what the peer is doing.
Share something – Children can share something about themselves or an idea they have. For example, suggesting a game to play. The trick is to make sure it’s on topic – that is – it’s related to what the other child is saying.
Suggest an activity- Suggest playing a game. Asking for play-dates is fine too so long as parents are consulted along the way.
Give a compliment- Tell peers something you like about them. We all like hearing positive statements about ourselves. Compliments always need to be genuine though – merely saying something nice (just for the sake of making a compliment) can sound fake and back fire.
Listen too- Children need to listen to what their friends want to talk about…not just focus on what we want to say. Taking turns is an important social skills in games and in conversation too!
Need more help?
Fortunately friendship skills can be taught. The Speech Pathology, Psychology, Occupational Therapy and ABACAS team all work with children to help them develop the skills they need to make and keep friends.
Please call our reception on 9274 7062 for further information.
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So you know what behaviour you need to teach…but where do you start?
Following on from our task analysis post last week, you may now be at the point where you have worked out the steps of the routine behaviour that you need to teach your child. The question now is to work out which skill to teach first. The answer isn’t as obvious as you may think!
What is Chaining?
Chaining is the technique used in Applied Behaviour Analysis interventions to systematically teach a sequence of skills. Behaviour chains are a series of related behaviours, each of which leads to the next step. For example in brushing teeth, the first step may be to take the lid off the toothpaste, then squeeze a little of it onto the brush, replacing the lid, then bringing the brush to the mouth and so on. Each step along the way cues the next step in the sequence. We are working towards being able to reinforce the last step (e.g. teeth brushed).
There are actually four types of chaining procedures to choose from:
(b) Backward Chaining with Leaps Ahead;
(c) Forward Chaining; and
(d) Total Task Chaining.
Confused? Don’t worry – we are going to break each of these down so you can work out which will be the best procedure to use for the behaviour you are trying to teach your child.
You don’t always have to start at the beginning. Sometimes we can teach a routine by starting with the last step. In backward chaining:
- The steps are taught in reverse order. In another word, first skill to be taught is the last skill on the chain.
- The facilitator supports (prompts) the learner through the first several steps and the learner independently finishes the last step to finish the task.
- Once the last step is mastered, the step before the last step is then being taught.
- This technique is often used for tasks with a motivating end (e.g. baking cookies) or to allow escape (e.g. finish brushing teeth, putting the tooth brush away)
Let’s swap from brushing teeth to cooking a batch of cookies. Most children like cookies so this task may be more motivating. There is also an obvious reinforcer – getting to eat cookies once they are cooked!
The sequence for eating cookies may look like this for a child:
(1) Mix dry ingredients with wet ingredients
(2) Stir to mix
(3) Shape into small balls
(4) Place on tray
(5) Push down on the dough on the tray
(6) Bake (note – the parent might choose to do this step for a young child)
Using a backward chaining procedure you would prompt them through steps 1-5. This might look like verbal instruction or physically showing a child how to mix ingredients. When it came to step 6 (and if this was appropriate for their age) the child would be expected to do this step by themselves, with praise at the end from their parent. Once this step is mastered, then the next step is the pushing down on the dough and so on.Reinforcement (praise) is linked to either the end of the sequence once it’s mastered or to the individual step being taught.
The key to using a chaining technique is to be very clear about the behaviour you are trying to teach.
In next week’s post, we are going to look at Backward Chaining with Leaps Ahead.
As always you are very welcome to contact Jenny Lin, Program Manager for assistance on any aspect of your child’s behaviour. Jenny can be contacted through the office on 9274 7062.
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Feelings of grief and loss can be triggered for children by changes such as the death of a loved one, the loss of an important person from their life, parental separation, and moving to a new school or home.
As a parent you will want to protect your child from distress but grief and loss is often a very natural reaction to something very sad that has happened in a child’s life. It doesn’t mean that the child is not coping. Rather it may mean that the child is just very naturally expressing their emotions.
How do children express grief or loss?
Depending on the age of the child, children may express their grief differently to adults. And as with all children, you may notice differences in the way that individual children respond.
Children sometimes do not understand what a loss means. Particularly for young children who experience the death of a loved one they may not comprehend the implications of death. This may mean they act as if nothing has happened. It’s important to plan how you will explain a death or change to your child in a way they will understand.
Some children will respond to feelings of grief or loss by acting angry, oppositional and defiant. This is usually because they do not know how to process their feelings, and feel out of control. This is particularly true for teenagers who may begin to push boundaries in response to feelings of grief and loss. It is important to respond to underlying feelings, be supportive and understanding, and find ways for children to express feelings in safe ways.
Children can sometimes feel despair in response to grief or loss; this may include sadness, crying, hopelessness, anxiousness, being clingy, and being fearful of separating from loved ones. It is important to provide lots of love and reassurance, and model that you can be sad but still live your life.
Some children may feel guilt, blame or responsibility for events surrounding grief or loss. Letting children talk about their worries openly will allow adults to challenge ideas, give more realistic explanations, and remove burden from children.
Tips for responding to children’s grief:
- Gradually children will accept the reality of loss, try to encourage them to also find some hope for the future.
- Let children be involved in rituals around loss such as choosing and decorating their new room, making photo collages of their memory of a loved one.
- Allow children to continue talking about loss and their feelings around that. Give permission for children to express whatever emotions they may have, even if they differ to your own.
- Consistency can help children adjust to changes; having familiar people, places, and things around them can provide a sense of security in a difficult time.
- Model the expression of your own emotions regarding the loss in healthy and appropriate ways.
Our psychology team at the Child Wellbeing Centre are also there to help you if you are still worried about how your child is coping.
Please call 9274 7062 for further information.
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For some children on the autism spectrum (and other children with developmental needs), learning daily behaviours and routines can be challenging. Brushing teeth, getting dressed, putting shoes on or preparing snacks are all examples of daily independent living skills where children may need extra help.
Some children need help breaking down the parts of the task into smaller chunks and learning step by step. Knowing the steps involved in the task are important. You need to be able to identify the skills your child needs to be able to teach them.
What is Task Analysis?
Task analysis is breaking down a complex task into a sequence of smaller steps with specific instructions and the expected responses.
Let’s take the example of brushing teeth. For many of us this behaviour is so automatic now that we don’t even think about what we’re doing. Imagine though trying to teach this behaviour to someone who has never done this or done this by themselves before. To help you work out how to explain brushing your teeth, you might break it down into the following steps:
Go to the bathroom, then find the sink
Find toothbrush and tooth paste
Squeeze tooth paste onto tooth brush
Put toothbrush away
*Note teaching children the actual art of brushing teeth, might be a whole separate lesson, with its own sequence of steps to follow.
Performing an action yourself (e.g. brushing your own teeth) or watching someone else do it will help you identify the steps in the behaviour. Try and note as much detail as you can as this can help you later to work out where to start.
So I have my steps identified, what next?
Now to the fun part. After a task analysis is developed the next step is to teach the steps or skills that make up the sequence. In ABA speak we talk about “chaining procedures”. This is the process where the sequence of skills/steps are taught one after the other…building up until the whole behaviour can be performed independently by the child.
Don’t worry! In the next ABACAS Tuesday the team will be talking about how to use chaining techniques at home. However you don’t have to wait. If you have a particular behaviour that you’d like to teach your child, why not grab a pen and pencil and see if you can’t start breaking the behaviour down into steps.
Want more help?
Jenny Lin, Program Manager and the team are available for consultation. All you need to do is to call reception on 9274 7062 for further information.